Members Come – Some Stay – Some Go

          quote-our-lives-are-not-determined-by-what-happens-to-us-but-by-how          What matters is how we perceive each situation and more importantly how we react to it. For as long as I have been in network teams, business groups, served on non-profits there has always been somewhat of an expected revolving door.
          If you have run as many as I have you come to appreciate this door. It helps keep people on their toes – I mean who doesn’t need a little motivational push every now and then? It helps keep things fresh – sometimes people get burnt out and need a break. Sometimes they just aren’t up for the challenge and guess what? That is okay! Every group is not for everyone, otherwise, everyone would be in it!
          We have all heard the saying, “life is 10% of what happens and 90% of how you react to it.” In life both personal and business, attitude, and effort are everything. This is what shapes our beliefs and ultimately the outcome of things we pursue.
          Many people have what is called a knee-jerk reaction to just about everything in their life. This is a terrible way to live if you want my opinion. Let’s try for a moment to push the pause button on situations anyone in the position of being a member will find themselves in and see if we can reshape our year coming more positively and productively. Even better let’s fill it with fun, energy, and excitement for possibilities!
          First situation members find themselves in is in playing the blame game. They join a group and see results of other members immediately thinking, “to join is to succeed”. Let’s go ahead and tap into some free common sense:
  •  To succeed you must be willing to put forth the effort. Not once, twice, four, twenty times – but every time. Here is the kicker – ready…? Even if another member is not. Your outcome is based off what YOU do not what THEY do or do not. (Channeling my inner Yoda)
  • My results will be the same even if I miss a meeting or two or three because when I am there I am amazing! Here is another kicker – ready…? You have a talent! Not many have such a confident ego that they know their occasional amazingness will cause their fellow members to overlook their partial commitment and float them while the rest of the team puts forth 100% effort.Be a beast
  • I can choose what I want to do as a member and still get all the benefits, after all, I am paying for it. Here is your next kicker – ready…? When your Mom said, “if you want to do nothing around here and still get your ice cream, go out get a job. But, while you are under my roof you will do all your chores” was yanking your chain. You still don’t get the proverbial ice cream if you do not do all your life/work chores.
  • Here is a harder one – ready? You joined as a Rockstar but after a while, you notice not everyone is a Rockstar (shocker, I know!). But, instead of helping the stagehands move up to be a Rockstar too, you decide to sit out the next jam session because that will surely teach them. They will come to understand you will only shine on them if they figure out how to be a Rockstar too. I mean after all you did it, right? Here is your kicker – ready…? You are a polyester Rockstar with tarnished rhinestones (ouch). Groups are looking for the silver and satin Rockstar, ones that know they are only truly great when they are helping others be more. Running off to the corner with your toys because others aren’t on your perceived level yet or aren’t doing ‘something’ to your standards is well… un-Rockstarish!
  • Last but not least – every group no matter the size has turn-over. Smaller groups feel this more than larger groups because they are closer to each other as is should be. I love being in small groups over large ones mainly because we get to truly know each other on a deeper level not possible in large groups. When members in a small group have needs outside of business this is where they mostly shine because instead of a generic announcement like, ‘Sue is out sick’ you hear, ‘Sue is out sick make sure to reach out and see what we can do for her.’ Usually followed up with a chicken soup delivery sign up. The downside I have come to not regret is you do feel more deeply when a member leaves the team, as it feels like family just up and Moderation is for cowardsran out on you. If it didn’t affect, you then you probably aren’t as invested as you should be. Anything worth our time is worth extra effort and investment. Here is another kicker – ready…? When this happens, keep your knees in check! There’s a reason for everything and we may not always know what it is, agree with it, or understand it. But, one thing is for sure, your reaction will drive what happens next. You can choose to react negatively and have what I call a Chicken Little episode or you can wish them well and focus on those that chose to stay and be on your team.
Moral of the story? Every group is not for everyone. You can make yours the most sought after and desired group if you cook Chicken Little with a nice side of continuous Top Chef effort, followed up with a positive slice of doing more as an example to the sous chefs.
See you at the A-Team!

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